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Un'Aura Amorosa

by Christopher Douthitt

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noncesense
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Todd Pruner
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Robert Douthitt
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Jeff Brajcich
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1.
Butterfly Knives 04:52
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Adults in this city lead interesting lives I fell for the girl who made butterfly knives We’d kiss and we’d cut and we’d close down the dives Sharing similar goals at the time Her knives were like heirlooms, and beautifully worn Handles carved out of black buffalo horn And edges that curved into tips sharp as thorns Dangerously unadorned I’d bike to her studio where she’d be alone Sparks flying off of the grinding stone “Don’t turn off your furnace babe don’t send me home— I called in sick and my apartment is cold.” But she wouldn’t look at me, she’d sharpen her cutlery If I so much as muttered she’d send me back fluttering A knifepoint at my throat Because lovers who fear no hesitation They’re cold and even-tempered just like folded steel So fold me in the flames of mad devotion Build me up and grind me down and make a stabbing mess out of me I’d sit near a scrap pile of discarded jade And stare at the butterfly tattoo across her shoulder blades Like two eyes watching every move that I made Like strangers at a masquerade Well evening would come and then I’d wander home Palming the handle of my own balisong Hoping for once for something to go wrong But nobody ever came along But I knew that she’d come for me, my key turning silently And just as I fell asleep she’d wake me up violently A knifepoint at my throat Because lovers who fear no hesitation They’re cold and even-tempered just like folded steel So fold me in the flames of mad devotion Build me up and grind me down and make a stabbing mess out of me ‘Cause I thought we agreed To stop before we made each other bleed
2.
Sad Lazy Dad 02:36
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In a plastic water bottle We’re mixing bourbon with champagne And calling ourselves entertainment We can rest our swollen ankles In the nineteenth‐century wing And sleep it off on the train We got no girls to chase around Got no kingdom, got no crown And we’re joking with ourselves Saying, “Don’t you be a sad, lazy dad…” “Don’t you be a sad, lazy dad...” And circa 1500 In red chalk on tan laid It’s Adam and his woman Eve Cain on the ground and Abel on the knee They’ve been wandering, wandering And I turn to my brother and he turns to me Tomorrow morning we’ll be heading east He says, “See, I told you, don’t, don’t you be a sad lazy…”
3.
Snake Charmers 04:01
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All honor to the snake charmers, to the faith healers, to the fire breathers Who never ask, “How long must I hesitate?” Jacob sends a nation from his loins I’m on my knees at the drop of a coin Wrestling with my shadow on the floor While my angel keeps my lover waiting at the door You touch me with your conviction, with your mood lighting, with your heightened diction I’m Isaac on the hill with eyes clenched shut The snake pot is teeming with your coils You step up to the flame with your mouth full of oil You could pin me to the ground and I’d be transfixed Don’t you wait for my blessing to go through with this ‘Cause there’s a voltage that ran from Beersheba to Dan That flickers in the lights beside our bed There’s a serpentine trap ‘neath the bathwater tap That backs up like the pools of Solomon As if the Lord’s work weren’t done Now dance for me in the moonlight until my weakness clouds my eyesight Draw the poison from my skin and spit it out The heat pipes will hammer out our pulse Our nerves will cross wires and the walls will convulse When the women of the temple put up their braids We will lie together in the cool of the cypress shade And then waking at noon I feel a draft through the room The curtain’s torn, the universe is in play Untangling our legs to go scramble some eggs As the pigeons flutter through the alleyway We go about our day Now all honor to the snake charmers, to the faith healers, to the fire breathers Who never ask, “How long must I hesitate?”
4.
My Old Man (Un'Aura Amorosa) 03:27
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My old man, he’s a fervent machine He treats his women like they were magazines He chokes when he murders his meat Squeezes salt from a sugar beet Comes home at night with a makeup mask Do I complain? Do I even ask? He’s in the corner with a fork in his fist He’s blowing me a kiss While my soul is envisioning its creeping death My old man sends me his loving breath When I hold his kisses deep inside my lungs He has to hold his tongue My old man used to sing for the crowds Falsetto arias in an evening gown Till he sputtered in a heap of rage Spitting blood onstage Now he wakes up in fever dreams He rips his clothes off, tears at surgical seams I find him lubricated with wine Singing through his old lines Un’aura amorosa—is that supposed to be his closer? Un’aura amorosa—he can’t remember the composer Un’aura amorosa… I take abuses like a cat takes milk His forty lashes—they’re the touch of silk I take my beauty with a spoonful of lust And drink it in disgust While my soul is envisioning its creeping death My old man sends me his loving breath When I hold his kisses deep inside my lungs He has to hold his tongue
5.
Javelina 03:21
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Javelina, javelina On the high desert of my mind I caught you rooting through the wreckage of my crash-landed ultralight Are you not scattering my bones? Or are you coming for to carry me home? Javelina, javelina When my chariot was aflame I saw my shadow crossing petroglyphs and ghosted copper claims And now you’re scavenging my scene And licking blood from my canteen? You say when horses pull On electrical cords And tombstones twist in the wind When the fire rains down And rivers of tears roil the ground Overwhelming the grid Who will guide you to Proserpina? A javelina? Javelina, javelina My life is written in your tusk I’m the quarry of your rummaging, I’m the innocent of your musk Are you the shepherd pig of saints? Or will you let me die here in my restraints? You say when horses pull On electrical cords And tombstones twist in the wind When the fire rains down And rivers of tears roil the ground Overwhelming the grid Who will guide you to Proserpina? A javelina? I see forty pairs of glowing eyes emerging from the brush I’m paralyzed and waiting for your touch Javelina, won’t you shift my shape to yours?
6.
I. There's a Pond 03:31
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There’s a pond not far from where I live All the crows drop their feathers into it The heavens drop, the clouds pour down A thunderstorm for the only town around There’s a hill where the radio lights shine All the homes there remain unoccupied The mountains melt into the sea We will offer ourselves willingly At your feet we sank, we fell, we— We lay down, at your feet we bowed We fell where we sank, there we fell— At your feet, there we fell down dead I stayed home and I waited patiently The farmers started planting flower seeds We asked for water, you gave us milk This county’s stuck with scabs of rock for silt At your feet we sank, we fell, we— We lay down, at your feet we bowed We fell where we sank, there we fell— At your feet, there we fell down Oh my soul, have you crushed strength? At your feet there we fell but— I stayed home to listen I stayed home to…
7.
II. In March the Basement Floods 04:20
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In March the basement floods The mice all scramble up the shelves The chain link fences swell And bird’s nests are taken by the wind And you are driven out By words so strong they skew your house But when you think that you’re so small You’re still just thinking about yourself The sun will settle at your back with nowhere to go Radiant highway signs And geese against the flaming sky They’ll lead you towards the coast And you can only follow—you’re supposed to The words you use will tell you what to do They say, take me where it’s quiet… When you reach the edge of land The hermit crabs will come and clip your toes And then you’ll understand What tide returns in March to fill their holes But the sun, a pale yellow yolk Curled up and glowing with its ghost Will leave you stranded by the sea with nowhere to go
8.
III. I've Been Out All Night 04:51
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I’ve been out all night and wandering And now I’m coming home I’ve been out all night and wandering And now I’m coming home We’re nothing but skin that’s glistening And glued‐together bones I’ve been out all night and wandering And now I’m coming home I’ve been out under heavenly lights, it was not cold outside I couldn’t find you If you raised your voice in the reeds, if you called for sympathy I couldn’t find you I couldn’t find you I’ve been out all night and wandering And now I’m coming home We’re nothing but barefoot splinters And patches come unsewn I’ve been out in a frail canoe, in a black lake with the ghost of a moon I couldn’t find you If your feet hung over the edge of a dock, and your car left unlocked I couldn’t find you I couldn’t find you I’ve been out all night and wandering And now I’m coming home We’re nothing but skin that’s glistening And glued-together bones You kissed me like ash when it kisses the lake You burned, then you bloomed, then you sank I lay there smoldering, wide awake I walked through fences and muddy fields after you Through glowing embers and scattered stones after you I’m coming home
9.
Jelly Sky 03:34
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I used to count the lights Tumbling from their places in the sky And that was fine I had clean blood in my veins and bright eyes Hair parted neatly to the side A little short of breath Medication in my pocket when I left And that was fine I had not yet felt the needle in my spine Or let the numbness paralyze my side Does the hand not impeach the heart? Does the heart not unnerve the eye? Do I not fade away like jelly from the sky? The pictures of my head Are tacked upon the roof above my bed I can explain The pattern of my blood through my brain The meteor that’s burning through the rain Does the hand not impeach the heart? Does the heart not unnerve the eye? Do I not fade away like jelly from the sky?
10.
You Who Were Born 03:36
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Oh, you who were born in the mud A tooth sticking out of your bleeding gums Reckon this rain for a flood And read in my prayers the pain that comes Oh, you were the devil to hold Slipping down stairs and skinning your knee You cried in the house when it sold And stripped all the leaves off your favorite tree Now in a room with no TV or phone You carve out the world to your edgewise art Bleeding out life on your own Guilty and mad as the muscled heart Well I don’t find relief In wiping the snot across my sleeve You can come up like an orchid in the rain And still be orphaned just the same A curse for the church that you loved A curse for the rain that falls on your head There’s no curse like leaving unloved At least that’s what you were heard to have said But nobody died at your birth And nobody’s writing your funeral song One day you’ll crawl back to the earth Thin as a page in the Gospel John Well I don’t kiss the cheek I don’t waste my words on genealogies You can come up like an orchid through the moss And still be just as lost Oh wouldn’t that flood come again And wouldn’t the sun shine through the showers To shine on the people who live As broken‐off stems in a field of flowers

credits

released October 31, 2011

All songs written, produced, and arranged by Christopher Douthitt.

Tracks 1-5 engineered and mixed by Blake Walker at The Hatch Recording Studio, Chicago, Illinois.

Christopher Douthitt - vocals, acoustic and electric guitars
Blake Walker - bass
Dave Fine - drums and percussion
Pete Dougherty - keyboards
Mike Namoff - dobro
Bob Hoffnar - pedal steel

Tracks 6-10 engineered and mixed by Seth Gibbs at Superpop Records, Austin, Texas.

Christopher Douthitt - vocals, acoustic and 12-string guitars
Dominic Fisher - electric and upright bass
Adam Clark - drums and percussion
Roy Coon - flute, clarinet, saxophone
Kenya Gillespie - violin, piano
Michelle Alany - violin
Corinne Hall - viola

Mastered by Erik Wofford at Cacophony Recorders, Austin, Texas.

Album design by Daniel Payavis.

www.christopherdouthitt.com

All songs ©℗ 2011 Christopher Douthitt (ASCAP)

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