1. |
Butterfly Knives
04:52
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Adults in this city lead interesting lives
I fell for the girl who made butterfly knives
We’d kiss and we’d cut and we’d close down the dives
Sharing similar goals at the time
Her knives were like heirlooms, and beautifully worn
Handles carved out of black buffalo horn
And edges that curved into tips sharp as thorns
Dangerously unadorned
I’d bike to her studio where she’d be alone
Sparks flying off of the grinding stone
“Don’t turn off your furnace babe don’t send me home—
I called in sick and my apartment is cold.”
But she wouldn’t look at me, she’d sharpen her cutlery
If I so much as muttered she’d send me back fluttering
A knifepoint at my throat
Because lovers who fear no hesitation
They’re cold and even-tempered just like folded steel
So fold me in the flames of mad devotion
Build me up and grind me down and make a stabbing mess out of me
I’d sit near a scrap pile of discarded jade
And stare at the butterfly tattoo across her shoulder blades
Like two eyes watching every move that I made
Like strangers at a masquerade
Well evening would come and then I’d wander home
Palming the handle of my own balisong
Hoping for once for something to go wrong
But nobody ever came along
But I knew that she’d come for me, my key turning silently
And just as I fell asleep she’d wake me up violently
A knifepoint at my throat
Because lovers who fear no hesitation
They’re cold and even-tempered just like folded steel
So fold me in the flames of mad devotion
Build me up and grind me down and make a stabbing mess out of me
‘Cause I thought we agreed
To stop before we made each other bleed
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2. |
Sad Lazy Dad
02:36
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In a plastic water bottle
We’re mixing bourbon with champagne
And calling ourselves entertainment
We can rest our swollen ankles
In the nineteenth‐century wing
And sleep it off on the train
We got no girls to chase around
Got no kingdom, got no crown
And we’re joking with ourselves
Saying, “Don’t you be a sad, lazy dad…”
“Don’t you be a sad, lazy dad...”
And circa 1500
In red chalk on tan laid
It’s Adam and his woman Eve
Cain on the ground and Abel on the knee
They’ve been wandering, wandering
And I turn to my brother and he turns to me
Tomorrow morning we’ll be heading east
He says, “See, I told you, don’t, don’t you be a sad lazy…”
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3. |
Snake Charmers
04:01
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All honor to the snake charmers, to the faith healers, to the fire breathers
Who never ask, “How long must I hesitate?”
Jacob sends a nation from his loins
I’m on my knees at the drop of a coin
Wrestling with my shadow on the floor
While my angel keeps my lover waiting at the door
You touch me with your conviction, with your mood lighting, with your heightened diction
I’m Isaac on the hill with eyes clenched shut
The snake pot is teeming with your coils
You step up to the flame with your mouth full of oil
You could pin me to the ground and I’d be transfixed
Don’t you wait for my blessing to go through with this
‘Cause there’s a voltage that ran from Beersheba to Dan
That flickers in the lights beside our bed
There’s a serpentine trap ‘neath the bathwater tap
That backs up like the pools of Solomon
As if the Lord’s work weren’t done
Now dance for me in the moonlight until my weakness clouds my eyesight
Draw the poison from my skin and spit it out
The heat pipes will hammer out our pulse
Our nerves will cross wires and the walls will convulse
When the women of the temple put up their braids
We will lie together in the cool of the cypress shade
And then waking at noon I feel a draft through the room
The curtain’s torn, the universe is in play
Untangling our legs to go scramble some eggs
As the pigeons flutter through the alleyway
We go about our day
Now all honor to the snake charmers, to the faith healers, to the fire breathers
Who never ask, “How long must I hesitate?”
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4. |
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My old man, he’s a fervent machine
He treats his women like they were magazines
He chokes when he murders his meat
Squeezes salt from a sugar beet
Comes home at night with a makeup mask
Do I complain? Do I even ask?
He’s in the corner with a fork in his fist
He’s blowing me a kiss
While my soul is envisioning its creeping death
My old man sends me his loving breath
When I hold his kisses deep inside my lungs
He has to hold his tongue
My old man used to sing for the crowds
Falsetto arias in an evening gown
Till he sputtered in a heap of rage
Spitting blood onstage
Now he wakes up in fever dreams
He rips his clothes off, tears at surgical seams
I find him lubricated with wine
Singing through his old lines
Un’aura amorosa—is that supposed to be his closer?
Un’aura amorosa—he can’t remember the composer
Un’aura amorosa…
I take abuses like a cat takes milk
His forty lashes—they’re the touch of silk
I take my beauty with a spoonful of lust
And drink it in disgust
While my soul is envisioning its creeping death
My old man sends me his loving breath
When I hold his kisses deep inside my lungs
He has to hold his tongue
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5. |
Javelina
03:21
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Javelina, javelina
On the high desert of my mind
I caught you rooting through the wreckage of my crash-landed ultralight
Are you not scattering my bones?
Or are you coming for to carry me home?
Javelina, javelina
When my chariot was aflame
I saw my shadow crossing petroglyphs and ghosted copper claims
And now you’re scavenging my scene
And licking blood from my canteen?
You say when horses pull
On electrical cords
And tombstones twist in the wind
When the fire rains down
And rivers of tears roil the ground
Overwhelming the grid
Who will guide you to Proserpina?
A javelina?
Javelina, javelina
My life is written in your tusk
I’m the quarry of your rummaging, I’m the innocent of your musk
Are you the shepherd pig of saints?
Or will you let me die here in my restraints?
You say when horses pull
On electrical cords
And tombstones twist in the wind
When the fire rains down
And rivers of tears roil the ground
Overwhelming the grid
Who will guide you to Proserpina?
A javelina?
I see forty pairs of glowing eyes emerging from the brush
I’m paralyzed and waiting for your touch
Javelina, won’t you shift my shape to yours?
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6. |
I. There's a Pond
03:31
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There’s a pond not far from where I live
All the crows drop their feathers into it
The heavens drop, the clouds pour down
A thunderstorm for the only town around
There’s a hill where the radio lights shine
All the homes there remain unoccupied
The mountains melt into the sea
We will offer ourselves willingly
At your feet we sank, we fell, we—
We lay down, at your feet we bowed
We fell where we sank, there we fell—
At your feet, there we fell down dead
I stayed home and I waited patiently
The farmers started planting flower seeds
We asked for water, you gave us milk
This county’s stuck with scabs of rock for silt
At your feet we sank, we fell, we—
We lay down, at your feet we bowed
We fell where we sank, there we fell—
At your feet, there we fell down
Oh my soul, have you crushed strength?
At your feet there we fell but—
I stayed home to listen
I stayed home to…
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7. |
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In March the basement floods
The mice all scramble up the shelves
The chain link fences swell
And bird’s nests are taken by the wind
And you are driven out
By words so strong they skew your house
But when you think that you’re so small
You’re still just thinking about yourself
The sun will settle at your back with nowhere to go
Radiant highway signs
And geese against the flaming sky
They’ll lead you towards the coast
And you can only follow—you’re supposed to
The words you use will tell you what to do
They say, take me where it’s quiet…
When you reach the edge of land
The hermit crabs will come and clip your toes
And then you’ll understand
What tide returns in March to fill their holes
But the sun, a pale yellow yolk
Curled up and glowing with its ghost
Will leave you stranded by the sea with nowhere to go
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8. |
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I’ve been out all night and wandering
And now I’m coming home
I’ve been out all night and wandering
And now I’m coming home
We’re nothing but skin that’s glistening
And glued‐together bones
I’ve been out all night and wandering
And now I’m coming home
I’ve been out under heavenly lights, it was not cold outside
I couldn’t find you
If you raised your voice in the reeds, if you called for sympathy
I couldn’t find you
I couldn’t find you
I’ve been out all night and wandering
And now I’m coming home
We’re nothing but barefoot splinters
And patches come unsewn
I’ve been out in a frail canoe, in a black lake with the ghost of a moon
I couldn’t find you
If your feet hung over the edge of a dock, and your car left unlocked
I couldn’t find you
I couldn’t find you
I’ve been out all night and wandering
And now I’m coming home
We’re nothing but skin that’s glistening
And glued-together bones
You kissed me like ash when it kisses the lake
You burned, then you bloomed, then you sank
I lay there smoldering, wide awake
I walked through fences and muddy fields after you
Through glowing embers and scattered stones after you
I’m coming home
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9. |
Jelly Sky
03:34
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I used to count the lights
Tumbling from their places in the sky
And that was fine
I had clean blood in my veins and bright eyes
Hair parted neatly to the side
A little short of breath
Medication in my pocket when I left
And that was fine
I had not yet felt the needle in my spine
Or let the numbness paralyze my side
Does the hand not impeach the heart?
Does the heart not unnerve the eye?
Do I not fade away like jelly from the sky?
The pictures of my head
Are tacked upon the roof above my bed
I can explain
The pattern of my blood through my brain
The meteor that’s burning through the rain
Does the hand not impeach the heart?
Does the heart not unnerve the eye?
Do I not fade away like jelly from the sky?
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10. |
You Who Were Born
03:36
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Oh, you who were born in the mud
A tooth sticking out of your bleeding gums
Reckon this rain for a flood
And read in my prayers the pain that comes
Oh, you were the devil to hold
Slipping down stairs and skinning your knee
You cried in the house when it sold
And stripped all the leaves off your favorite tree
Now in a room with no TV or phone
You carve out the world to your edgewise art
Bleeding out life on your own
Guilty and mad as the muscled heart
Well I don’t find relief
In wiping the snot across my sleeve
You can come up like an orchid in the rain
And still be orphaned just the same
A curse for the church that you loved
A curse for the rain that falls on your head
There’s no curse like leaving unloved
At least that’s what you were heard to have said
But nobody died at your birth
And nobody’s writing your funeral song
One day you’ll crawl back to the earth
Thin as a page in the Gospel John
Well I don’t kiss the cheek
I don’t waste my words on genealogies
You can come up like an orchid through the moss
And still be just as lost
Oh wouldn’t that flood come again
And wouldn’t the sun shine through the showers
To shine on the people who live
As broken‐off stems in a field of flowers
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